Languages
by Her Madjesty
Summary: After spending an unknown amount of time in the Maldonian kingdom, Killian picked up the language with ease. Not that it's doing him much good in Storybrooke. Otherwise: Five times Emma had no idea what Killian was saying, and the one time she made a lucky guess.


_A/N Happy 50__th__ piece! I thought that for such a momentous occasion, I'd try something I had never done before: a five times plus one piece. In my little world, though, Killian's picked up the Maldonian language and uses it far more often than one could imagine. Characters are not mine, but I hope you enjoy!_

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1.

He picked up the language somewhere between the kingdoms, wooing women who blushed and giggled at his poorly placed accent. None of that did him any good now, standing in a kitchen, glaring at the small fiery contraption in front of him.

The toaster glares sullenly back, before shooting his warmed bread upward towards the ceiling.

"Faldi faldonza!" Killian Jones swore, ducking backwards. Henry, sitting at the breakfast table, looked upward, his face torn between amusement and confusion.

"What did you say?" He asked, nibbling at the eggs on his plate.

"Nothing." Killian grumbled, carefully moving the piece of bread away from the glowing beast.

"No, you totally said something." Henry said, shuffling in his seat. "Faldi what?"

Killian sighed and sat down across from the boy. "Faldi faldonza." He repeated. "It's a curse I learned a long, long time ago."

"What language is it?" Henry asked. "It sounded Italian."

"Italian?" Killian parroted, glancing upward as Emma entered the room. "No, it's—"

"What's Italian, kid?" Emma interrupted, shooting the pirate a concerned look.

"Killian's teaching me curses." Henry told her through a mouthful of food.

"Is he now?" Emma pinned the man with a fierce look. Killian raised his hands, hook carefully covered with his black glove.

"I am not!" His voice broke as he backtracked. "I just happened to say something that may or may not have been a curse in a foreign language."

"Uh huh." Emma replied, narrowing her eyes. "Well, let's not keep doing that. Finish up, kid. Regi—the mayor wanted to take you around town today."

"Why?" Henry asked, furrowing his brow. "Doesn't she have other things to do?"

Emma and Killian shared a glance. "Yes." Emma said slowly. "But she's taken a shine to you. Just do it. It'll make her happy."

Henry sighed and returned his gaze to his meal. Emma's shoulders dropped noticeably, much to Killian's surprise.

"A minute, Swan." He said, standing from the table and disappearing into the hall. Emma let her eyes follow him, frowning softly before following.

"What is it?" She whispered, glancing back towards the kitchen.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Killian asked, ducking his head. "What if someone slips up?"

"We've already discussed it." Emma said, running a hand through her hair. "Right now, Henry's confused, and the only people he's really allowed to be around know better than to say anything stupid. He'll be fine, and then we can get down to finding this stupid witch."

"Aye." Killian nodded, stress still evident on his face. "But—"

"No buts." Emma cut him off. "Come on. I've got to get him over to Regina, and then you and I have to go meet up with my parents."

"Wonderful." Killian muttered. "Just who I wanted to see today."

Emma smirked and walked back into the kitchen, her quiet banter echoing into the hall. Killian turned back down the hall, stepping out of the apartment and leaning his back against the wall.

"Coming, Killian?" Henry burst out of the door behind him, shrugging off his mother's hand as he started down the hall.

"Right behind you, lad." Killian replied, pushing off the wall and falling in step beside Emma.

They walked in silence for a while, watching as Henry ran ahead and blatantly ignored the strangers ogling at him.

"So," Emma broke the silence, turning to Killian with a curious light in her eye. "What exactly did you say around my son?"

A tinge of red played over Killian's face, but he held his head high. "Faldi faldonza." He said casually. "I believe there's a similar word in the common tongue. I learnt it while in one of the marina kingdoms, passing through a tavern. Apparently it means—"

"Hurry up!" Henry shouted, interrupting the brief moment.

Emma rolled her eyes and picked up the pace, pulling ahead of the slightly flustered pirate. "Yeah, Killian." She teased. "Hurry up!"

"Faldi faldonza." She said under her breath, offer the man a grin.

Killian groaned and ran after the duo. "Fuck." He said, sprinting past the blonde. "It means 'fuck'."

Emma's eyes went wide, and Killian laughed, chasing down the lad already a block ahead.

XXX

2.

Night had settled in rather unexpectedly throughout the town, obscuring the outside world from view. From his perch on the Charming's balcony, Killian peered upward at the stars, silently cataloguing the new constellations against the ones of old.

"What are you doing out here?" Emma's tired voice preceded her. The blonde slumped against the railing, purple bags evident beneath her eyes.

"Nothing of import, Swan." Killian replied softly, sparing her a glance. "Shouldn't you and your lad be getting home?"

"What, like you're not coming?" Emma snorted. "You've taken over my couch."

"I can find another place of residence." Killian said, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "But your couch is rather comfortable, Swan. Are you sure you haven't enchanted it?"

"I'm sure." Emma replied, glancing back at the pirate. "It's all in your imagination."

Killian allowed himself a huff of laughter, tracing the constellations above him with his eyes.

"/There are many things in my imagination, love/" The Maldonian rolled off of his tongue with ease, surprising both Emma and himself.

"What did you say?" Emma asked, turning to face him more directly.

"Merely that we should be leaving soon." Killian lied smoothly. "It seems I remember more of the Maldonian language than I believe."

Emma narrowed her eyes, but didn't stop the smile coming across her face. "Sure you do." She said. "Now come on. I want to get some sleep tonight."

Killian smirked at her, and she swatted his arm, abandoning him on the balcony once more.

The pirate spared a glance up at the stars. The northernmost beauty sparkled down at him coyly, and he grinned.

XXX

3.

Killian woke in the middle of the night with an outrageous crick in his back. Suitable revenge for the comment about the couch, he assumed, standing up and stretching, ignoring the throbbing pain.

"Morning, sleepyhead." He opened his eyes to meet starling grey ones, looking at him with deep seated amusement.

"Swan?" His voice came out raspy. Emma bustled about the kitchen, turning away from him and back to the cabinets.

"Want some hot chocolate?" Her voice was oddly hushed, though her nails tapped feverently at the counter.

"What are you doing awake?" He asked, walking over to join her. His leather jacket lay abandoned on the couch, leaving him with a mere black vest and barely suitable pants.

Emma looked at him carefully, setting two mugs down in front of her. "Couldn't sleep." She whispered. "Too many dreams."

"And not those of a pleasant kind." Killian agreed joylessly, good hand reaching to grasp a cup.

Emma nodded silently, moving to the refrigerator to retrieve the milk. The duo stood in silence, while Emma twiddled over the mugs with shaking hands.

The chocolates were finished, and still they stood.

"Come on." Killian said gruffly. His hooked hand brushed Emma's arm, and he guided her to the couch, mug in hand. She followed, wordlessly, settling down beside him.

Killian set down his cup and fiddled with the television remote, frowning at it maliciously. "How do you work this bloody thing?" He asked.

Beside him, Emma chuckled. Their hands brushed as she took it from him.

The television woke with a pop, thought it was not the only reason Killian leapt back. Emma laughed silently, her eyes twinkling in the darkness.

"Stupid machine." Killian grumbled. "Now, your boy mentioned something about a 'movie' with myself in it?"

"I'm surprised you got him to explain what a movie was." Emma said. "But yeah, there's a movie with you and Peter Pan in it."

"Why the bloody hell would he be in it?" Killian asked, eyebrows shooting upward with surprise.

"Why don't we watch it, and then you'll see?" Emma smirked, running through her DVR to find the recording.

Killian grumbled and settled into the couch, picking his mug up and sipping at the liquid within. "/Only if it'll make you happy/" He grumbled, slipping into Maldonian without a thought.

Emma looked at him curiously again, setting the remote down as the movie began to play. "You use that language a lot." She said, too tired to sound suspicious. "How long did you spend in that kingdom?"

"Far too long." Killian replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The prince of the land and I were unlikely companions, after he got himself in a bit of a fix. I helped him out, and ended up staying with him far longer than I anticipated."

"And he taught you the language." Emma finished. "What was his name? The prince, I mean."

"Naveen." Killian shrugged, a curiously ugly monster stirring in his chest. "Though he had a lover, when I left him last. I think her name was…Tina? Tiana? Something along those lines."

Emma snorted and returned her attention to the television, watching as the Darling children bounced about their home. Killian fell silent, watching the cartoon play out before him, the monster in his chest replaced by something warmer as Emma settled in deeper beside him.

XXX

4.

Emma woke the next morning to the sounds of maniac laughter coming from the kitchen. She leapt up from her bed—odd, she swore she fell asleep on the couch last night—and whipped out of her room, tearing into the kitchen.

Killian Jones and Henry stood at the stove, covered in flour and attempting to flip a pancake.

"What?" Emma's sleep-wrenched brain struggled to keep up. The men in her kitchen looked up, faces absolute pictures of amusement.

"Morning, Swan." Killian chuckled, catching Henry's arm as he tossed the pancake wildly. "Careful!"

"I'm trying!" Henry said, eyes tearing up through his laughter. "Nice jacket, mom."

Emma blinked, the tension in her shoulders slowly abating as the scene played out before her. A black swish of clothing caught her eye, however, and she glanced down, finally catching up with her son's statement.

She was tangled in leather, almost entirely covered by a coat that smelled entirely of Killian Jones. Said man smirked at her from the stove, his eyes raking over her with unabashed admiration.

"/You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my life/" He declared, bowing before her. He lifted his head and smirked, the Maldonian slip entirely intentional.

"Oh, shut up." Emma growled, turning on her heel and storming away.

"/Even more so when you're angry!/" The gorgeous language followed her down the hallway, and she rolled her eyes, slamming the bedroom door loudly behind her.

XXX

5.

The day crawled on, and then they were back at the Charming's. Killian perched on the end of the table, glowering at the gathering.

"I still think we should wait." Snow White advised, her lips pursed with concern. "What is Zelena knows we're coming? We'll be walking into a trap."

"We have to develop some kind of advantage." Regina argued. "Even just prying around the cottage, seeing if there's anything she's left out. Something is better than nothing."

"I just don't think we should risk it." Snow pled, looking at her husband for support.

David frowned and ducked his head. "I agree with Regina." He said after a moment. Snow's jaw dropped for a moment, and Regina smiled smugly from across the table.

"Well, now that that's over." Killian said, clapping the table. "Who shall we send into imminent peril?"

"Me, of course." Emma's voice startled everyone as she walked through the door, throwing herself down into a chair and pressing a hand to her eyes.

Silence rang for a beat. Then, a resounding "No!" rose from the table.

Emma opened her eyes to see both her mother and Killian staring at her with fear in their eyes.

"Where's Henry?" Regina asked, twitching nervously in her seat.

"With Archie." Emma shrugged, pulling herself upward. "And no, you two don't get to tell me what to do." She addressed her mother, only glancing at the pirate. "I'm the only one who's had recent experience breaking and entering. I've got the best skill set to do this."

Snow White blanched, but Killian's expression slowly changed. "Let me go with you, then." He said, pushing off the table. "If we're talking about suitable skill sets, then it'd be best to have two of us who are used to watching our backs."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, considering.

"I was actually hoping you could stay with Henry after he's done with Archie." She said carefully, her words measured. "He knows you best, right now."

"I could watch him." Regina said quickly. "And as much as I hate to admit it, the pirate's not wrong. I can't face down my sister." Here, she hesitated, a look of disgust passing over her face. "At least, not yet. And my form of magic isn't exactly subtle."

"Well, there you go." Snow nodded, still looking tragically distressed. "Emma, if you're going to do this, you're going to take someone who can watch your back."

Killian smirked, nodding in deference to the once-queen. She glowered back at him, taking her husband's hand and squeezing tightly.

David looked between his daughter and the pirate with caution in his eyes. "Don't do anything stupid." He told Emma, who looked up and nodded, clenching her hand into a fist.

"And you," David turned to Killian. "Watch your back. And hers. Because if she gets hurt, I'm coming after you."

"/I'll protect her with my life/" The pirate answered, Maldonian falling from his lips. He glanced at Emma, whose eyes narrowed further.

David forced a grin away from his face. "/You'd better/" He responded. Killian's eyes widened, and he offered the prince a genuine smile.

"What, you know it, too?" Emma asked, frustration evident in her voice.

"It's just Maldonian." David said with a shrug, grinning cheekily at his daughter. "Get going, you two. We have a war to win."

Emma rolled her eyes and stood from the table, storming out of the apartment with Killian a few steps behind her, grinning victoriously.

XXX

6.

Zelena sighed, inspecting her nails for invisible flaws. "You know, the longer I'm around you people, the more homicidal I feel." She informed her captives, watching as Emma struggled against her bindings.

Killian Jones lay twenty some feet away, seemingly unconscious against a hay bale.

"I can't imagine why." Emma growled, giving herself another shake, magic crackling between her fingers. "I'm feeling a little homicidal myself."

"Your parents would be ashamed of you." Zelena said dryly. With a flick of her wrist, Emma fell silent, her mouth gagged.

"Much better." Zelena offered her a beatific smile before turning her gaze outside of her window. "Soon enough, I intend to do that to your entire town. Not to mention my sister, of course." She laughed, low and manic, fingers pressing eagerly against the glass.

Out of the corner of her eye, Emma saw Killian stir, coming to his feet. He glanced at her and put a finger to his lips.

"You see, Emma," Zelena purred, taking in the little town. "There are so many negligent people in your town. So many souls that have been forgotten in the name of their betters. They feel like I do, you know. Like they've been abandoned."

Killian slunk forward, moving silently over the floor. He shifted out of view in time with the witch, coming within a few feet of her.

"They'll all join me." Zelena said with a chuckle. "They'll join me, and your precious little gathering will be nothing—"

The hilt of Killian's sword made contact with Zelena's temple. The witch crumpled, shooting out her hand in the direction of the blonde, still sitting helplessly on the floor. Emma collapsed, her invisible bonds falling away as her head met the ground.

"Emma!" Killian was at her side in a moment, gathering her in his arms. "Emma, can you hear me?"

The blonde was silent, eyes closed and limp.

"No, no, no." Killian muttered, giving the woman a shake. "No, come on, Swan. I finally get to save you this time, you don't just get to die on me."

"Swan!" He was nearly shouting now, glancing between the woman in his arms and the witch, unconscious a few feet away.

Emma twitched, and Killian nearly toppled forward. "Emma?" His voice was reverent. "Emma, oh gods, please, wake up, love."

"/Come back to me/" The Maldonian was a prayer in her ear, a desperate plea to bring her back to the world of the living.

Emma moaned, wiggling in Killian's hold. "Can't leave you." She muttered, eyes still closed. "You're stuck with me."

"And I am fine with that." Killian laughed breathlessly, burying his face in Emma's hair. "Gods, Swan, don't do that!"

"Not exactly something I could control." Emma said, finally opening her eyes. "She dead?"

"Unconscious." Killian replied, glancing back at the witch. "We have to go, Swan. Can you walk?"

"I think so." Emma struggled to her feet, Killian's arms still wrapped firmly around her. "You have to let me go, Killian." She said with a smirk.

"Ah, yes." His arms were gone immediately, though they hovered at the edge of Emma's vision. "Sorry."

"Bloody pirate." Emma teased, humor falling from her face as the witch started to stir. "Come on, let's go!"

The duo tore out of the abandoned shack, tumbling down the grassy hill outside and back towards the town.

"Wait a minute!" Killian shouted, nearly tripping over a patch of dirt. "You said you didn't know any Maldonian! How did you understand me?"

"Lucky guess!" Emma shouted back, tearing past him. "You can't live without me." She said with a wink, pulling ahead.

"Damn right." Killian growled under his breath, picking up speed.

The duo sprinted into town, disappearing down the dusty streets and into the distance.


End file.
